Individuals of all walks of life can find themselves in an abusive relationship. Abuse can occur regardless of the couple's age, race, income, or other demographic traits. There are, however, many traits that abusers and victims share in common. The Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence describes abusers as being obsessively jealous and possessive, overly confident, having mood swings or a history of violence or temper, seeking to isolate their partner from family, friends and colleagues, and having a tendency to blame external stressors. Meanwhile, victims of relationship abuse share many traits as well, including: physical signs of injury, missing time at work or school, slipping performance at work or school, changes in mood or personality, increased use of drugs or alcohol, and increasing isolation from friends and family. Victims may blame themselves for any abuse that occurs or may minimize the severity of the crime. This often leads to victims choosing to stay in abusive relationships. Strauss argues that while men inflict the greater share of injuries in domestic violence, researchers and society at large must not overlook the substantial minority of injuries inflicted by women. Additionally, Strauss notes that even relatively minor acts of physical aggression by women are a serious concern: Similarly, Deborah Capaldi reports that a 13-year longitudinal study found that a woman's aggression towards a man was equally important as the man's tendency towards violence in predicting the likelihood of overall violence: "Since much IPV is mutual and women as well as men initiate IPV, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women's violence as well as men's violence. Such an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women's safety." However, Capaldi's research only focused on at-risk youth, not women in general, and, therefore, may not apply to the entire population.
Characteristics
Emotional abuse
They are afraid of their date
They are afraid of making the date angry and are unable to even disagree with the date.
Their date has publicly embarrassed and humiliated them.
Psychological abuse
The date threatens to use violence against them or against themself.
Sexual abuse
The date forces their partner to have sex with them.
They are afraid to say 'no' to the date's demand for a sexual act from them.
The date does not respect them, and is only interested in gratifying their own sexual needs.
The date does not care about the consequences of the sexual act or how their partner feels about it.
Physical abuse
They were subjected to some physical attacks by their partner
The date has held them down, pushed them, or even punched, kicked or thrown things at them.
Controlling behaviour
The date has tried to keep him/her from seeing friends.
He/she restricted from contacting his/her family
He/she is even forced to choose between the date and his/her family and friends.
The date insists on knowing where he/she is at all times and demands that he/she justify everything they do.
The date will be furious if he/she spoke with another person of his/her preferred sex.
The date expects him/her to ask permission before seeking health care for themselves.
The date dictates what he/she wears and how he/she appears in public.
