Everything I Wanted
"Everything I Wanted" is a song by American singer and songwriter Billie Eilish. It was written by Eilish and her brother Finneas O'Connell, with the latter handling production. The song was released as a single on November 13, 2019 through Darkroom and Interscope Records. It was described as a house and electronica-influenced pop and alternative pop track, for which a piano and downtempo bass provide minimalist instrumentation. Inspired by a nightmare she experienced, the song is about Eilish's strong relationship with her brother Finneas. In the lyrics, Eilish talks about him protecting her and making sure no one hurts her.
"Everything I Wanted" received mainly positive reviews from music critics, several of whom praised the music and lyrics. Commercially, the song was also successful, reaching number eight on the US Billboard Hot 100. It debuted atop the record charts of several countries, including Ireland and Norway. The song further peaked at number three on the UK Singles Chart. It has been certified by several certifications, most notably double platinum in Australia, Canada, and the United States.
Eilish directed the accompanying music video, which was uploaded to her YouTube channel on January 23, 2020. The video depicts Eilish and Finneas together, holding hands while driving through the city and into the ocean. Eilish has performed "Everything I Wanted" live several times, with it being included on the setlist for her When We All Fall Asleep Tour and Where Do We Go? World Tour.
Background and release
It was reported in October 2019 that Eilish was working on new music. In November of that year, the singer announced the release of two new songs and a music video for the song "Xanny", which was released in December 2019. She eventually revealed the song title and the release date of "Everything I Wanted" during an Instagram livestream on November 10, 2019. The song was featured in Eilish's advertisement for Beats by Dre headphones, while the cover art for the song was made by Jason Anderson, which is an abstract painting of the Golden Gate Bridge. The track was originally titled "Nightmare". Eilish and her sibling Finneas O'Connell, known under his stage name of Finneas, started to write the song back in September 2018 and it began as a feeling of Eilish's depression. In an interview with The New York Times, Eilish said that she "was in a really bad place mentally", while Finneas admitted he didn't want to help her write a hopeless song about suicide. The track was mastered by John Greenham and mixed by Rob Kinelski, both of whom also served as studio personnel. It was released for digital download and streaming as a single on November 13, 2019, via Darkroom and Interscope Records. The song was added to the reissue of Eilish's debut studio album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? in December 2019. A flexi disc for the song was released via pre-order to ship in the following four to six weeks. The release came with a digital single delivered via email for US customers.Composition and lyrics
"Everything I Wanted" is moderately fast at 120 beats per minute. The song is played in the key of A major, while Eilish's vocals span a range of E3 to B4. According to Jem Aswad from Variety, the song features a significant use of reverb, and a "gentle beatbox and soft, hazy keyboard riffs". The track has been described as a house and electronica-influenced pop and alternative pop track in press reviews; it features minimalist production that consists of piano and a downtempo bass. Lake Schatz of Consequence of Sound mentioned that the song has a "spare beat and quiet keys".Eilish explained that "Everything I Wanted" was inspired by a dream in which she died after jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. The song also references how Eilish feels about fame. Though she's very grateful to be able to make music for her fans and the world, fame can sometimes become very frustrating for her. According to Eilish, the song is about how Finneas will always be there for her. The lyrics talk about the relationship between the two of them. The track begins with the singer talking about her committing suicide and nobody even caring, "Thought I could fly/So I stepped off the Golden/Nobody cried/Nobody even noticed/I saw them standing right there/Kinda thought they might care." In the chorus, Eilish and Finneas talk about always being there for each other, "And you say/As long as I'm here/No one can hurt you." Pitchforks Dani Blum stated that the song "has layered vocals that swell and surround Eilish in the bridge" as she asks, over and over again; "If I knew it all then, would I do it again?/ If they knew what they said would go straight to my head/ What would they say instead?"
Reception
Critical response
"Everything I Wanted" was met with mainly positive reviews from music critics. The song was praised by Insider Callie Ahlgrim, who called it a "thoughtful dynamic" and felt that the lyrics are a "breathtaking portrait of their in-sync collaborative skills". Jon Caramanica from The New York Times said that the keyboards are "urgent" and "elegiac", while he described the chorus as "draining yet hopeful". Rolling Stone’s Brenna Ehrlich stated the song showed a "softer, sadder version of Eilish", and described the track as "a meditation on fame". Clash Robin Murray said the song "is definitely hewn from Billie's tender side". The staff of DIY labled the track as a "cool, quietly upbeat production". BillboardCommercial performance
Following the release of "Everything I Wanted", it debuted at number 74 on the US Billboard Hot 100 on November 23, 2019. On November 30, it rose to number 8 on the chart, becoming Eilish's second top ten hit in the US. The song ascended from number two to number one on the Billboard Alternative Songs radio airplay chart in February 2020. It became her third number one on the chart, tying Eilish with Beck and Alanis Morissette for the most number ones by a solo artist on the Alternative Songs chart. On the UK Singles Chart, the song reached number 3, becoming Eilish's third top 10 in the United Kingdom. "Everything I Wanted" has further peaked at number one in Estonia, Ireland, Latvia, Lithuania, and Norway. It has also peaked within the top 10 of countries such as Austria, Belgium and Germany. It has been awarded several certifications; most notably being certified double platinum in Australia, Canada, and the United States by the Australian Recording Industry Association, Music Canada, and the Recording Industry Association of America, respectively.Music video
Eilish released the self-directed music video for "Everything I Wanted" on January 23, 2020. Eilish explained, “My brother and I wrote this song about each other and I wanted to create a visual that emphasizes that no matter what, we’ll be there for each other through everything. This is the second video I’ve directed of mine. We worked so hard, for hours and hours on end." The video begins with the words: "Finneas is my brother and my best friend. no matter the circumstance, we always have and always will be there for each other." It then goes to Eilish driving a car with Finneas who is sitting in the passenger seat. The two's stares are blank, while their bodies remain expressionless. The siblings drive through many scenes reminiscent of places in California, but it later becomes clear that Eilish is driving through a dreamscape she imagined. They drive through a tunnel, then find themselves out of the city, driving through the desert and past a valley, before driving to a beach and then into the ocean. As the car gets swept away by a tide and slowly sinks under the ocean, Finneas lends his hand out, with Eilish grabbing it as the two look at each other and smile. The visual ends with the siblings still holding hands together as the car continues to sink and flood, knowing that they will always be there for each other. The music video was positively received by critics. Rebecca Alter of Vulture, who called the video "very good", commented that it "looks like it was shot by the cinematographer who did 'The Long Night' on Game of Thrones." MTV's Jordyn Tilchen praised Eilish for the way she directed the video, with Tilchen saying that her "skills shine through on this project". Derrick Rossignol of Uproxx called the visual a "shadowy, Eilish-directed clip". Writing for Nylon, Layla Halabian wrote the video " new meaning to the saying: Blood is thicker than water."Live performances and other usages
Eilish performed the song live for the first time in December 2019 on the final stop of her When We All Fall Asleep Tour in Mexico City, and during an Apple Live acoustic show at the Steve Jobs Theater in Cupertino. "Everything I Wanted" was one of songs on her setlist for the Where Do We Go? World Tour. Eilish performed the song live with Finneas playing the acoustic guitar, for Blux, in February 2020. In April that year, Eilish and Finneas performed an acoustic version of "Everything I Wanted" during a 50 minute livestream for Verizon Communications.In February 2020, Alicia Keys covered the track on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge. In March 2020, JP Cooper covered "Everything I Wanted" exclusively for Billboard. Cooper played with his band, with Billboard saying Cooper and his band slowly built "a lush unfurling arrangement dual guitars, piano and organ", as Cooper was crooning "as he gently strums an electric guitar". Cooper told Billboard that he doesn't do many covers, but he felt drawn to the track and that he and his band had a great time recording it. In March of the same year, Georgia recorded a cover of "Everything I Wanted" at Abbey Road Studios in London. Sam Moore of NME wrote that the cover had mixed together "elements of electro-pop and orchestral music".
Credits and personnel
Credits adapted from Tidal.- Billie Eilish – vocals, songwriter
- Finneas O'Connell – producer, songwriter, engineer, backing vocals, drum programmer, bass, piano, synthesizer
- John Greenham – mastering engineer
- Rob Kinelski – mixer
Charts