Fag hags are frequently stereotyped as outgoing women who are seeking a substitute for heterosexual relationships, or who are secretly sexually attracted to gay men. In fact, many women who identify as fag hags are already in romantic relationships, either with straight men or with women but appreciate the alternative experience of socializing with gay men and may prefer the gay culture to the straight counterpart.
Related terms
American fag hag synonyms include fruit fly, queen bee, homo honey, fruit loop, Goldilocks, flame dame, fairy princess, gabe, Tori and fairy godmother. Recently, cherry fairy has started to catch on as well in some select social groups in San Francisco and the East Coast, and gayboy bunny has been coined for fag hags who are attractive or have boyfriends to counteract the stereotype that fag hags are unable to find a suitable straight partner. In the case of friendships between lesbians and gay men, the term dyke diva describes the gay man in the relationship. A straight man of platonic affinity with gay men is a fag stag; again, the usage is rare in mainstream sexual culture. For men who have many lesbian friends the slang terms dutch boy, lesbro or dyke tyke apply. People who associate with lesbian, gay, and bisexual people may be called fruit flies regardless of their sex. Fag hags, fag stags etc. are regarded as belonging to the phenomenon of "hagism", the attachment of a person to a group defined by sexuality or gender identity, even though they do not personally share that identity. The Japanese word okoge has a more neutral connotation. The German word is "Schwulenmutti", or "Gabi", the ironic used nickname for Gabriele or Gabriela. In the Philippines, heterosexual women who develop deep friendships or almost exclusively associate with the native bakla LGBT subculture are known as babaeng bakla. They stereotypically acquire the mannerisms, campy sense of humor, lingo, and fashion sense of the bakla. They are also usually more extroverted and socially dominant. It is commonly perceived as a positive self-identification, and various prominent local celebrities openly identify as babaeng bakla.
The term has often been used in entertainment. Comedian Margaret Cho has written and regularly talks in her stand-up routines about being a fag hag. In an episode of the UK TV sitcom Gimme Gimme Gimme, Tom refers to Linda as a fag hag. English singer Lily Allen released a song called "Fag Hag" in 2008 as the B-side to "The Fear". The first annual Miss Fag Hag Pageant took place in New York City on May 17, 2009 at Comix with judges Caroline Rhea, Michael Musto, Hedda Lettuce and Katina Corrao. Heather Shields took the first prize.
