Frederick was the son of Charles Ellis, 6th Baron Howard de Walden and his wife, Lady Lucy Cavendish-Scott-Bentinck, daughter of William Cavendish-Scott-Bentinck, 4th Duke of Portland. He attended Eton College and Trinity College, Cambridge. As a young man, Frederick assisted his father in overseeing the family's holdings of Jamaican sugar plantations. By 1867, Frederick had become a major in the 4th Light Dragoons. He succeeded his father in the baronies of Howard de Walden and Seaford on the latter's death on 29 August 1868. He also inherited his father's indebted estate. Frederick's mother, Lucy, undertook to discharge her late husband's debts in return for title to the plantations. She then gave the plantations to her youngest son and Frederick's brother, Evelyn. Although Frederick lost the chance to inherit his father's wealth, he and his younger brother William realized that the Marylebone estate of the Duke of Portland and lands in Ayrshire owned by the Duchess of Portland would pass first to their mother Lucy and her childless sisters, and then to Lucy's senior grandson. Even though William married and had a son in 1875, any son of Frederick's would be deemed "senior" because Frederick was the older brother. In 1876, Frederick married Blanche, daughter of William Holden. In 1880, they had a son, Thomas Evelyn. In 1893, Blanche sued for divorce and Lord De Walden countersued, in what was viewed as the "cause celebre of the year". Frederick accused Blanche of "undue intimacy" with Count Jenan de Madre of Paris and Captain Winter. Blanche alleged cruelty by her husband as grounds for separation and her counsel cited physical abuse by Frederick, allegations of theft he made against Blanche, and threats to shoot her. According to press reports of the trial, "he frequently returned home drunk and vomited in bed, and developed filthy and hoggish habits, preventing Lady Blanche from sleeping with him." Frederick's mother died on 29 July 1899, and he inherited the Marylebone and Ayrshire estates, making him for a little more than three months "the wealthiest peer in England". Lord Howard de Walden died on 3 November 1899, aged 69, and was succeeded by his son Thomas. He is buried at Kensal Green Cemetery. Lady Blanche married Henry Lopes, 2nd Baron Ludlow in 1903 and she lived until 1911.
