Hale and Pace


Hale and Pace were an English comedy double-act that performed in clubs and on radio and television in the United Kingdom in the 1980s and 1990s. The duo was made up of Gareth Hale and Norman Pace, with the Hale and Pace television show running for ten years and 66 episodes, from 1988 to 1998.

Early career

and Norman Pace met at Avery Hill teacher-training college in Eltham, South East London. They discovered much in common, particularly humour, and began playing clubs in a comedy band. One of the clubs they most liked playing was the Tramshed in Woolwich. This developed into sketch-writing, with a show entitled Don't Stop Now - It's Fundation. Before appearing on TV, they did a series of radio shows for Radio 4 based on their show at the Tramshed. Their early TV breaks came on The Entertainers, Pushing Up Daisies and they went on to appear in the Channel 4 sketch show Coming Next and the Saturday Gang. They also appeared in The Young Ones three times, in the episodes "Flood", "Nasty" and "Time".

London Weekend Television show

After a single one-off special for London Weekend Television in Christmas 1986, they were given a full series in 1988. The first series won the Silver Rose of Montreux, as well as the Press prize. Their relationship with ITV lasted a decade, with most of their programmes going out around 10pm on a Sunday. Their most famous comic creations are the stone-faced bouncers The Two Rons – also known as The Management, who include the phrase 'I do, Ron, Ron' in their stilted conversations in a reference to the song "Da Doo Ron Ron" by The Crystals. They are also famous for their ever-smiling and colourfully dressed children's TV presenters Billy and Johnny. A number of their TV sketches caused controversy, especially the sketch in which they pretended to have microwaved a cat. This clip got them onto the top 50 on "50 most shocking comedy moments" and they believe that the sketch gave them the notoriety that kept them in work for all the successive series. They went one-up on this sketch in the first episode of the second series where Norman holds a baby and they both move aside to show the microwave behind them. Gareth flips a coin, then the baby upstages them by vomiting over Norman's arm. Other sketches were heavily criticised for being perverted or almost pornographic. One sketch showed a British couple staying with a Swedish couple. The Swedes were nudists who were constantly naked, with the man constantly asking for very intimate details of their sex lives. Although the British couple are clearly shocked and offended, they finally claim that their Swedish hosts are boring. At one point, the Swedish couple are filmed with full-frontal nudity. Their genitals are only hidden by the very close positioning of the British couple's heads.
The series was also notable for its amount of musical numbers: every episode featured at least one original song performed by Hale and/or Pace.

Series list

SeriesEpisodesOriginally aired in the UKDirectorProducerEpisode themeRecurring sketches
1702/10/1988 – 13/11/1988Vic FinchAlan NixonEach episode starts with a sketch before proceeding to the introduction which is a colourful montage of Hale & Pace. Both comedians have individual stills of them shot from the waist up and then shown in a quick sequence. A colourful background is used during the introduction consisting mainly of a purple/pink colour with splashes of yellow and green. At its end, the title of the show is shown with the names Hale and Pace. There are quite a few live stage performances during this series including the two Rons regularly appearing on a stage balcony.
  • Two Rons
  • Billy & Johnny
  • Jed & Dave
  • "Readings from my latest anthology", by Groovy Wordbender Don't be a square, be a rhombus Ain't got no Daddio, bastardio Nitrous oxide – What a gas!
  • Guy being greased, mimicking TV Series The Singing Detective
  • Deliberate blooper segments
  • Antique roadshow
2601/10/1989 – 05/11/1989David G. HillierAlan NixonIdentical to the 1st series.
  • The two Rons
  • Billy & Johnny
  • Jed & Dave
  • 3630/09/1990 – 04/11/1990David G. HillierAlan NixonHale & Pace in an early -0th-century setting with Hale wearing an old hat and Pace wearing a monocle. Chickens, chicken feathers and a rubber chicken are being shaken around the room for some reason. The introduction finishes zooming in on their faces, at which point they both stick out their tongues, with Hale's tongue showing "Hale" written on it and Pace's showing "Pace". The "&" is written on Pace's hand, which is positioned behind them but between their two heads, therefore presenting the title "Hale & Pace". Each show finishes with a nude shot of Hale & Pace's backsides, each with their name written on it. This became the series in which the Prisoner sketch was first shown. It proved so realistic that Lisa Blair rang up LWT asking why Val Lehman had reprised the role of Bea Smith for another one-off episode.
  • Old men sitting in chairs talking
  • The two Rons
  • 4629/09/1991 – 03/11/1991David G. HillierDavid G. HillierA water theme is used for this series for the credits and ad breaks. Hale & Pace have the appearance of being submerged in water and focussing on fish swimming past them. A shark swims right to left across the screen and then opens its jaws to begin the show. When cutting to commercials, the same shark actually shows Hale & Pace in its mouth.
  • The two Rons
  • Jed & Dave
  • Billy & Johnny
  • 5724/01/1993 – 07/03/1993
    6719/09/1993 – 31/10/1993
    7718/09/1994 – 30/10/1994Hale & Pace dancing and gyrating in front of a black & white digital background. In most cases, the black & white is unevenly represented on the screen. No formal title is displayed and the backing track is 'I feel Good'. There are also many sketches performed on a live stage during this series where the stage contains an enormous background prop with the letters "HALE" placed on top of "PACE". Each episode starts with the two stars coming on stage and their jackets are taken by different people each week.
  • Sister Wendy's Art Treasures
  • The Golfing Cabbies
  • Swedish Sauna
  • The Open University
  • Jeans adverts
  • Unnecessary Force Force
  • Mr. Poppy
  • 8608/10/1995 – 19/11/1995Peter OrtonMark RobsonHale & Pace dancing and gyrating in front of a black & white digital background. In most cases, the black & white is unevenly represented on the screen. No formal title is displayed but the duo perform a voiceover introducing the show as "Hale & Pace". Hale walks through a door which acts as a transition from the introduction to the opening sketch. There are also many sketches performed on a live stage during this series where the stage contains an enormous background prop with the letters "HALE" placed on top of "PACE".
  • Billy & Johnny
  • Curly & Nige: Hospital porters Go camping
  • Jed & Dave on the road
  • London cabbies
  • John & Yokel
  • Sven & Benny
  • 9705/01/1997 – 16/02/19974 separate pieces of the faces of Hale & Pace being jumbled and put together correctly. Their faces are changing expressions whilst being put together and once completed their name appears in a small board area. At the end of the introduction, the camera zooms in to the small board showing the show's title "Hale & Pace". It then transitions to the first sketch of the show.
  • London cabbies
  • Waiter/s with "black pepper"
  • Are you nervous...nervous now?
  • Curly & Nige: In the garage At the D.I.Y shop
  • American sheriff & his deputy
  • Rappers with baggy clothes
  • Yorkshiremen
  • Crime boss & his muscle
  • Two redheads who copy the end of what people say
  • Transpotters
  • Elderly gentleman who can't swear
  • Meditating man who wishes for things to happen
  • 10623/07/1998 – 27/08/1998
  • The Dopplers
  • * At the fish and chips shop
  • * At the magic show
  • * Interviewed by a police officer about a car
  • Spin-offs

    Hale & Pace's characters "The Two Rons – also known as The Management" also had a spin-off series of their own called The Management which included a number of their regular cast in permanent positions and ran for a total of 6 episodes. This series was also released on video. They also made several specials, such as the 1996 Showcase Hale & Pace Down Under from Australia and April Fools' Day.

    Guest stars

    From the first series, Hale and Pace had stars in their show. Initially, these were little known performers such as Ainsley Harriot, Annette Badland and Harry Enfield. Once Hale and Pace became more well known, more widely known stars appeared in their shows, and the snooker players Steve Davis and Jimmy White even played foil to the two cabbies in one episode.

    DVD box sets

    All 10 series are now released on DVD, available in region 4 from Australia
    The show is rated M in Australia and R16 in New Zealand for its sexual references.
    The complete first series doubled with the 1986 Christmas Special was released in a 2 disc DVD set in the UK on 12 March 2012 by Network. It was classified "12" by the BBFC.

    "The Stonk"

    In 1991 Hale & Pace released a charity single in aid of Comic Relief. "The Stonk", based on a fictitious dance craze, was co-written by Hale and Pace along with Joe Griffiths. The single was produced by Queen guitarist Brian May, who was also featured on the track. Other musicians performing on the single, besides Brian May playing keyboards and guitar, were David Gilmour and Tony Iommi on guitar, with Neil Murray on bass guitar. Cozy Powell, Roger Taylor and Rowan Atkinson – appearing as his character Mr. Bean – performed on drums. Joe Griffiths and Mike Moran contributed on keyboard. A UK number-one single for one week in March 1991, it is their sole chart single but raised £100,000 for Comic Relief. The B-side was entitled "The Smile Song", which was written and performed by the comedian Victoria Wood.

    Other appearances

    As well as their 1991 single "The Stonk", the duo also appeared as their characters "The Two Rons" in a firework safety campaign run around Guy Fawkes Night, in trailers that were run for several years in the late 1980s/early 1990s, in slots often directly after Children's BBC, but also occasionally during ITV commercial breaks.
    Hale and Pace continued their charity work with a 1992 stint as spokespersons for the National Egg Awareness Campaign. They moved across to the BBC in 1997 and starred in the three-part series, Jobs for the Boys, a non-comedic show in which they took on a variety of employment challenges. One of these challenges was to write the UK entry for the Eurovision Song Contest. They were advised/mentored by Rick Wakeman, Bruce Welch, Lynsey de Paul, Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson, Cheryl Baker, Lee Sheriden and Nicky Stevens, Björn Again, former Eurovision presenter Katie Boyle, Johnny Logan, Katrina Leskanich, songwriter Don Black, and radio presenter Ken Bruce.
    The duo also appeared, briefly, as shop-keepers Harvey and Len, in Part One of the 1989 Doctor Who story Survival. This gave them the distinction of appearing in what turned out to be the last ever story in the show's original 1963–89 run.
    A hybrid variety/comedy/quiz/people-show h&p@bbc was a flop. Similarly, their dramatisation of the Dalziel and Pascoe detectives for ITV in 1994 did not lead to success, and the BBC later attempted the serialisations with more success, with Warren Clarke and Colin Buchanan in the title roles. They appeared working in a shoe shop in episode two of The Armando Iannucci Shows. They appeared in the Christmas Special of the Gervais and Merchant show Extras, broadcast in December 2007.
    They appeared in several episodes of the 2018 season of Benidorm, playing a pair of financial fraud investigation officers tailing transvestite hotel employee Les.