Have Some Madeira M'Dear


"Have Some Madeira M'Dear", also titled "Madeira, M'Dear?", is a darkly comic song by Flanders and Swann. It is a song about plying a teenager with alcohol in order to sexually assault her, containing complex and witty wordplay.
The tell of an elderly rake who "slyly inveigles" an attractive girl of 17 to his flat where he offers her a glass of Madeira, a fortified Portuguese wine. The girl enthusiastically drains her glass, becoming slightly drunk in the process. Sensing victory, he offers her another glass, which she accepts. However, before raising it to her lips, she recalls her dying mother's warning to avoid red wine. With a cry, the girl drops the glass and flees the apartment, the old roué's pleas for her to remain echoing in her ears. The following morning, however, she wakes in bed with a hangover and a beard tickling her ear.
The song contains three much-quoted instances of syllepsis:
The song has been covered by other groups, including most notably the Limeliters. The lyrics were also recited as a poem by Tony Randall in episode #922 of The Carol Burnett Show which first aired February 21, 1976.

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