Lobolo
Lobola or Lobolo in Zulu, Swazi, Xhosa, Silozi and northern and southern Ndebele, and Mamalo in Tshivenda language, sometimes referred to as "bride wealth" is property in livestock or kind, which a prospective husband or head of his family undertakes to give to the head of a prospective wife’s family in gratitude of letting the husband marry their daughter.
Lobola and the Law
In South Africa, where the custom of lobola is widely practiced, the union was previously concluded in terms of customary law, but is now governed under the Recognition of Customary Marriages, 1998 and has the following prerequisites to qualify a marriage under customary law:- Consensus - Historically, consensus was sought between the families of the prospective bride and groom’s families. Since 2008, the RCMA states that consensus is required only between the individuals, and not their families.
- Age Requirements - According to customary law, no specific age requirement exists however, the RCMA includes a minimum age requirement of 18.
- Lobola - A customary marriage, under the RCMA, is valid on the agreement to pay lobolo and does not require the payment of lobolo.
- Transfer of the Bride - The transfer of a bride is another requirement for the validity of a customary marriage. The RCMA does not specifically regulate this custom and is dealt with on an ad-hoc basis.
- Absence of Common Law Marriage - Two parties in a monogamous customary marriage can enter into a common law marriage, but not vice versa
- Prohibited Degrees of Relationship - In the past, each community had their own rules about prohibited relationships. These rules have evolved over the years. The RCMA states that these prohibited relationships are regulated by customary rules.
A key requirements for a customary marriage to be recognised as a valid marriage is that the marriage must be negotiated, entered into or celebrated in accordance with customary law. Furthermore, the prospective spouses must be of the age of 18 years, and both prospective spouses must consent to the marriage. Until the recent Johannesburg High Court judgement in Sengadi v Tsambo 3 November 2018, there has been contention and confusion as to what constitutes a valid customary marriage. In the case involving the widow of renowned hip hop musician Jabulani Tsambo, also known as HHP, her status as the legally recognised customary wife was primarily what was in question. Here the family of the deceased refused to acknowledge Lerato Sengadi as the customary wife on the basis that there had not been a customary ‘handover ceremony’ of the bride to the family of the groom, which would meet the requirements of a ‘’celebration’’ in accordance with customary law, and therefore no customary law marriage was concluded or came into existence between the deceased and Sengadi. On examination of the evidence, the Judge concluded that in fact, there had been a tacit waiver of this custom because a ‘’symbolic’’ handing over of the applicant to the Tsambo family occurred after the conclusion of the customary law marriage. As the Judge put it:
In what can be described as a landmark case, the Judge ruled against the family and declared Sengadi as the lawful spouse of the deceased.
Negotiations
In South African law, certain requirements must be complied with in order to conclude a valid customary marriage, including the negotiation of the Lobolo. This negotiation is a crucial step towards a valid customary marriage, in law and in culture. A distinction is made between ‘Lobolo’ or ‘Lobola’, the tangible form of asset that constitutes an agreed upon dowry, and the Lobola negotiations, the set of legal customary processes that constitutes the fundamental dialogues between the two families and is necessary to establish the Lobolo and the conclusion of the negotiation. The latter always precedes the former.The process of Lobolo negotiations can be culturally varied, long and complex, and involves many members from both the bride and the groom's extended families; normally, this would just be the uncles of the marrying parties, as well as the fathers, where custom allows. The groom is not allowed to participate directly in the actual negotiations. In some cultures women may be present in the negotiations, while some households hold on to a tradition of not allowing women to actively take part in the negotiations.
Ivulamlomo is a key process to the negotiation as negotiations cannot begin until this traditional act has been observed. Often, to dispel any tensions between the families, in modern times a bottle of brandy is placed on the table; however, this is not required nor is the vulamlomo limited to brandy, and it can be traditional sorghum beer or cash. This is usually not drunk; it is simply a gesture to welcome the guest family and make everyone feel more relaxed, and it is known as ivulamlomo, which, literally translated, is isiXhosa for mouth opener i.e. price for opening your mouth to express the purpose of your visit. It is up to the potential wife’s delegation to decide as to whether to make use of the alcohol or keep it closed.
Lobola cannot be paid in full in one go, the groom's delegation will need to come again after the first negotiations to finish paying for their bride to be. Once the Lobola has been paid in full then the next step follows which is called Izibizo, which can happen on the day when lobola negotiations are concluded. This step involves the groom's delegation giving the bride's family according to the list that was issued presents, which may include blankets, pinafores, doeks, shawls and three foot pots or grass mats for women and coat, walking stick, hat, beer pots for men. There is then a celebration to mark the occasion.
Amount
It is generally accepted that cows, at a minimum, are required in a lobolo within the Xhosa and Zulu cultures. While differing customs within various regions may contribute in determining an amount of the cash value of each cow, it also depends on the negotiation prowess of the representatives, or oonozakuzaku.In modern times, there has been growing controversy around the amount demanded in certain families deemed by spectators as unreasonably excessive. Today, negotiations involve setting a price for a single cow and then multiplying the agreed price by the number of cows the new bride is deemed to be worth. The amount due is affected by many different factors including, but not limited to, the education level of the prospective bride, the financial means of the prospective spouses, and whether the prospective bride already has children. Semanya claims that even high-profile figures such as Nelson Mandela practiced the custom, by paying a lobolo of 60 cows for his wife, Graça Machel.
Shona culture and Ndebele culture
The price and ceremony for meeting the in-laws is called "Mbonano" and is entry to the house. This is followed by "Guzvi", a second price for greeting the in-laws and accompanied by the traditional greeting. Subsequent gifts of cash or food are then placed into a special plate that is used for the occasion. This is either bought or borrowed and has a price and ceremonial reference as well: "Kubvisa ndiro".
Other gifts or prices include "Vhuramuromo" for the greeting of the guests, similar to the Xhosa Loloba mvulamlomo. "Dare" for calling of the witnesses to the marriage and "Matsvakirai kuno" for the explanation of "How did you meet my daughter" or "Who told you that I have a daughter?"
Gifts for the mother of the bride then include "Mbereko", for carrying the bride in a pouch or sling when she was a baby, and "Mafukidzadumbu" for "covering of the belly"; this is alternately translated as "carrying the baby in the womb" or "tucking the baby in with a blanket ". Among the various stages of the lobolo ceremony, the groom-to-be has to provide outfits for the mother of the bride. These are called "Nhumbi dzaamai" and will traditionally include a blanket alongside a standard outfit, while the outfits for the father are called "Nhumbi dzababa" and will often be a suit of choice to later wear for the European wedding ceremony.
A special gift for the father of the bride is the "Matekenyandebvu", to acknowledge him for "the scratching and pulling of the beard" as she sat on his lap, or putting up with the playful antics of his daughter as a child.
This is followed by a small allowance for "Mari inouhongwa nemusihare", and this amount is given to the bride. If there are younger sisters or siblings, she may give them a portion of the money. This money is for all the cooking that will have taken place for the party which the groom will finance after the ceremony is concluded.
Next comes the actual "bride price". This is called "Rusambo" and although the process described above is referred to or called "roora", this is the name given to the whole ceremony and all of the gifts, not just the bride price or dowry. Traditionally a gift of cattle, this is most commonly paid in cash, although the amounts will still be representative of fair market price for cattle.
The new groom will also pay for "Munongedzi wedanga", a stick used for driving the cattle into the corral. If the cattle are cash equivalents, the stick will also be its cash equivalent. Normally this is given in the form of a walking stick.
Grocery items and outfits are at the discretion of the bride's parents, and will be included and inspected after the Rusambo. Adhering to the stated requirements of the new in-laws is a show of respect from the new son-in-law. It is often advisable to do exactly as stated or better, to ensure smooth relations between the newly united families.
The final stage includes a party financed by the newly acquired groom.
After the gifts are presented, the groom greets the in-laws as a new groom with the special traditional clapping greeting and is permitted to be a part of the household. In some traditional circumstances, the younger siblings of the new bride may also see the groom as an alternate husband and he may be responsible for their welfare. In the past, the younger sisters could also be offered as alternate wives in the case of death of the bride, in similar fashion to ancient Jewish tradition. This tradition has fast fallen away due to urbanisation, migration and HIV/AIDS. Once welcomed to the family, the groom may be given an animal totem depending on the ethnic group he marries into. He would be given a respectful title such as 'MUKWASHA' which means son-in-law. Other titles could be 'babamukuru' or 'babamunini' depending on the relationships in the family.
In certain Shona groups, even after the main ceremony, lobolo still needs to be paid in small amounts after the birth of a child or after 20 years, this is to continually thank and acknowledge the wife's family.
Negative effects
Lobolo may have some unintended negative effects. It may create a financial barrier for some young men looking to take a bride. It is common for a couple that is emotionally ready to commit to each other to stay unmarried if the man does not have the financial resources to satisfy the impeding traditional ritual, and in some cases the bride-to-be who has the financial resources secretly pays her own Lobolo by giving the money to the man who in turn hands it over to the brides family. For those who do have the financial means, the issue can be Lobolo's opportunity cost. Young men who are in the wealth-creation stage of life may feel that their future is better secured if they invest their money elsewhere to receive significant financial returns.Lobolo is seen by some as an extravagance that has little relevance in a society where young Africans are trying to lift themselves out of poverty. However, the tradition is still adhered to as strongly as ever, and in families where tradition and intention override greed, Lobolo can be a great way of showing commitment between families, not just between the bride and groom. Lobolo is also seen by some rural South African woman as a sign of respect in that it symbolises their worth and reinforces their dignity. Many traditional marriages utilise a cash-based Lobolo; this can be then followed by a European-style wedding ceremony, where the Lobolo funds are used to pay for expenses. In this way, any outlaid costs are returned to the payer in another form, preserving tradition, honour and finances.
Recently, the meaning of lobolo has been abused. The bride's families are demanding huge amounts of money from the groom's family and in turn, lobolo is now more of a money-generating-scheme from most families. Instead of simple gifts for lobolo payment-as it was in the 20th century and beyond, fathers are demanding outrageous amounts for their daughters. This has given some men in the African society the 'right' to abuse and ill-treat their wives because they feel that they bought them. There is no gender equality because the system "promotes male superiority" where the voices of women do not matter nor their importance acknowledged.
Usually African men are keen to marry their girlfriends, however there are hindrances which may prevent this. As mentioned in the above paragraph finance is the main one. Other potential hindrances are family members not approving their future son-in-law, a bitter past where the parents dig out dirt.
It is important that a couple communicates these issues openly with each other so that they can protect their other half should anything occur