Love bombing


Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes.
Members of the Unification Church of the United States use it to convey a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the "love" is feigned and that the practice is psychological manipulation in order to create a feeling of unity within the group against a society perceived as hostile. In 2011 clinical psychologist Oliver James advocated love bombing in his book Love Bombing: Reset Your Child's Emotional Thermostat, as a means for parents to rectify emotional problems in their children.

Origin of the term

The expression "love bombing" was coined by members of the Unification Church of the United States in the 1970s and was also used by members of the Family International.
In 1978 Sun Myung Moon, the founder and then leader of the Unification Church, said:
Anthropology professor Geri-Ann Galanti writes:

Margaret Singer

Psychology professor Margaret Singer popularized awareness of the concept. In her 1996 book, Cults in Our Midst, she writes:

Abusive relationships

The expression has also been used to describe the tactics used by pimps and gang members to control their victims. Modern social media can intensify the effect of love bombing since it enables the abuser with nearly constant contact and communication with the victim.
One of the signs of love bombing in the start of a relationship is much attention in short time and pressure for very rapid commitment. Psychologist Dale Archer identifies "The Phases of Love Bombing: Idealization, Devaluation, Discard." He advises: "Stop, Look, and Listen" to avoid love bombing and to break off contact with the abuser, if possible, and seek support from family and friends.

Benign occurrences

Excessive attention and affection does not constitute love bombing if there is no intent or pattern of further abuse. Archer explains:
In the 2010s British author and psychologist Oliver James recommended love bombing as a technique for parents to help their troubled children. He described it as, “dedicating one-on-one time spoiling and lavishing your child with love, and, within reason, pandering to their every wish.” A reporter for The Daily Express tried the technique with her son and reported:

Evolutionary Psychology analysis

Dr. Hans Breiter, a neuroscientist at Harvard University, states that "Some people seem to be born with vulnerable dopamine systems that get hijacked by social rewards."
Geri-Ann Galanti writes: "A basic human need is for self-esteem.... Basically consists of giving someone a lot of positive attention."
Keith Henson has attempted to explain in evolutionary psychology terms how love bombing works. It is based on the idea that the brain evolved in a social context and that attention from others acts as a reward for reasons rooted in stone age evolution.

"It should come as no surprise that this powerful reward mechanism can be taken over by drug-induced rewards, but this is not the only way the brain reward system can be hijacked. Memes... which manifest as cults and related social movements have "discovered" the brain's reward system as well. Successful cult memes induce intense social interaction behavior between cult members. This trips the attention detectors. Tripping the detectors causes the release of reward chemicals.... Anyone who has ever had the feeling of being higher than a kite after giving a public speech is well aware of the effects of attention.