Flying monkeys (popular psychology)


Flying monkeys is a term used in popular psychology mainly in the context of narcissistic abuse. They are people who act on behalf of a narcissist towards a third party, usually for an abusive purpose. The phrase has also been used to refer to people who act on behalf of a psychopath, for a similar purpose. The term is not formally used in medical practice or teaching.
Abuse by proxy is a closely related or synonymous concept. The term is from the winged monkeys used by the Wicked Witch of the West in the book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz to carry out evil deeds on her behalf.

Identity

A flying monkey can be anyone who believes the narcissist's fake persona, including the narcissist's spouse, child, friend, sibling or cousin. According to popular psychology author Angela Atkinson, flying monkeys are usually unwittingly manipulated people who believe the smears about the victim although they may be another narcissist working in tandem.
According to narcissistic personality disorder author Sam Vaknin and other writers, proxy abusers can come from a number of sources:
The flying monkey does the narcissist's bidding to inflict additional torment on the target. It may consist of spying, spreading gossip, threatening, painting the narcissist as the victim and the target as the perpetrator. Despite this, the narcissist does not hesitate to make flying monkeys his or her scapegoats when and if needed.
The flying monkeys may make it seem like the narcissist is not really involved, and they likely have no idea that they are being used. Multiple flying monkeys act as a mobbing force against a victim.

Motivation

Motives behind the narcissist's support group can be multiple. Service providers may be seduced by the narcissist's charm into taking a one-sided perspective. Family members may in good faith attempt to sort out the "problematic one". The codependent may seek to participate in the narcissist's omnipotence, or use them as sanction for their own aggressive instincts. Alternatively, others may simply be swept up by force of personality to define the situation along the narcissist's own lines.