The Ten
The Ten is a 2007 American anthology comedy film directed by David Wain and cowritten by Wain and Ken Marino. It was released through ThinkFilm. The film was released on August 3, 2007. The DVD was released on January 15, 2008.
Plot
Ten stories, each inspired by one of the Ten Commandments:;1 "Thou Shalt Worship No God Before Me"
A man becomes a celebrity after falling out of a plane and becoming permanently embedded in the ground, thanks to a superstar agent. After a swift rise to stardom, he becomes prideful and arrogant, referring to himself as a god. His career falls apart and he loses everything. His fiancée leaves him for a TV anchor man.
;2 "Thou Shalt Not Take the Lord's Name in Vain"
A librarian has a sexual awakening in Mexico with a swarthy local who turns out to be Jesus Christ. She eventually settles down and marries her coworker, but is secretly reminded of her fling with Jesus whenever her family prays before a meal.
;3 "Thou Shalt Not Murder"
A doctor kills his patient by leaving a pair of scissors inside her abdomen during surgery. Despite expecting the charges to be dropped because he left the scissors in "as a goof", the judge and jury sentence him to life in prison. The judge also disbars the plaintiff's lawyer, who is then told that he should consider a job as a tour guide at the local nuclear plant.
;4 "Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father"
A white mother enlists an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator to be a father figure to her black children after telling them he is their biological father. It is revealed that their father is in reality Arsenio Hall, but they decide to keep the Arnold impersonator as part of the family; despite not being able to imitate Arsenio, he can do a pretty good Eddie Murphy impression.
;5 "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Goods"
A police detective covets his neighbor's CAT Scan machine. After continuously buying additional CAT Scan machines to one up each other, both of their wives leave them. After hitting rock bottom, the two neighbors reconcile and go out for a drink. Meanwhile, a disaster at a nuclear power plant during a school tour leaves a busload of school children in need of several CAT Scan machines. They arrive at the neighbors' houses but the doors are locked and the two men are at the bar, so all the children die.
;6 "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife"
A prisoner desires a fellow inmate's "bitch" for his own.
;7 "Thou Shalt Not Steal"
The woman from the first story, having recently married the TV anchor man, falls in love with a ventriloquist puppet, steals it and runs off to have a romantic relationship with it.
;8 "Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness"
The ventriloquist, having lost his dummy and become a homeless heroin addict, is told by another homeless man a story about an animated rhinoceros who earns a reputation as a liar. After learning that a band of weiner dogs is intent on infecting others with a fatal STD, the rhinoceros tries to warn everyone. Unfortunately, nobody believes him, and they all succumb to the STD. It is then revealed that the rhinoceros now sells drugs to the homeless men.
;9 "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"
Jeff Reigert presents all of these stories to the audience, while struggling with his own moral dilemma: having to choose between his beautiful wife and his also beautiful but somewhat younger mistress.
;10 "Remember the Sabbath and Keep It Holy"
The husband from the second story skips church with his family to get naked with his friends and listen to Roberta Flack.
Cast
- Paul Rudd as Jeff Reigert, Gretchen’s husband and an man who hosts the stories and has an affair, but ends up reconciling with his wife.
- Winona Ryder as Kelly LaFonda, Stephen's ex-fiancée who steals a puppet.
- Famke Janssen as Gretchen Reigert, Jeff's wife who reconciles with him in the end.
- Jessica Alba as Liz Anne Blazer, Jeff's young mistress who he has an affair with, but ends up dumping her.
- Adam Brody as Stephen Montgomery, Kelly's ex-fiancée who is embedded in the ground as the result of a skydive accident.
- Justin Theroux as Jesus H. Christ, the son of god who is portrayed as a seductive Mexican.
- Oliver Platt as Marc Jacobson, an impersonator who becomes the adopted dad of 2 black teens.
- Liev Schreiber as Ray Johnson, a police detective who ends up competing with his neighbor by purchasing excessive CAT-Scan machines.
- Gretchen Mol as Gloria Jennings, a librarian, Noah’s mother and Oliver's wife who has a fling with the Spanish Jesus,
- Rob Corddry as Duane Rosenblum, a prisoner in the jail Glenn is sent to and wishes to have Glenn's raper as his own.
- Michael Ziegfeld as Harlan Swallow / Gary, a ventriloquist who's puppet, Gary, is stolen by Kelly and is now a drug-addicted hobo.
- Ken Marino as Dr. Glenn Richie, a joke-loving doctor convicted of murder that he insists was "a goof".
- Janeane Garofalo as Beth, an employee at the nuclear power plant who panics when minors have been exposed to radiation.
- Mather Zickel as Louis La Fonda, a news reporter who publishes Stephen's situation from the skydiving incident and becomes Kelly's new husband.
- Kerri Kenney-Silver as Bernice Jaffe, a single mother to 2 African-American twin teens who welcomes Marc as her son's new dad.
- A.D. Miles as Oliver Jennings, Noah’s father and Gloria's husband who hosts a nude party on a Sunday
- Michael Showalter as Police Lieutenant Flarn Bairn, a cop Swallow reports the theft of Gary to.
- David Wain as Abe Grossman, a reporter who interviews Stephen after his accident.
- Thomas Lennon as Scotty Pale, one of Paul's friends.
- Bobby Cannavale as Marty, Oliver's friend who joins him at his naked party.
- Ron Silver as Fielding Barnes, an agent who makes Stephen a star, but ends up deserting him.
- Joe Lo Truglio as Paul, Ray's neighbor who battles him through purchasing lots of CAT-Scan machines.
- Robert Ben Garant as Bob, the Forman for the jury at Dr. Ritchie's trial.
- Jason Sudeikis as Tony Contiella, the widower husband of Dr. Ritchie's murdered victim who was a temp for Gloria when she took a vacation to Mexico.
- Kevin Allison as Stanley
- Rashida Jones as Rebecca, a hostess who introduces Swallow and Gary.
- Jon Hamm as Charles, a flight instructor to Stephen
- Tommy Nelson as Noah Jennings, Gloria and Oliver’s son.
- Michael Ian Black as Prison Guard
- H. Jon Benjamin voices The Lying Rhino, a deceptive animated rhino whose deception caused him to be helpless in halting a horrendous orgy caused by sexually transmitted Dachshunds. He is portrayed by Peter Starlett in the live-action part of the movie.
- John Tormey as Junkie Jerry Park
- Jason Antoon as Salazar 'Fred' McBairn
Reception