Marriage in Islam


In Islam, marriage is a legal contract between a man and a woman. Both the groom and the bride are to consent to the marriage of their own free wills. A formal, binding contract – verbal or on paper – is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. Divorce in Islam can take a variety of forms, some executed by a husband personally and some executed by a religious court on behalf of a plaintiff wife who is successful in her legal divorce petition for valid cause.
In addition to the usual marriage until death or divorce, there is a different fixed-term marriage known as zawāj al-mutʻah permitted only by the Twelver branch of Shi'ite Islam for a pre-fixed period. There is also Nikah Misyar, a non-temporary marriage with the removal of some conditions such as living together, permitted by some Sunni scholars.

Terminology

In Islamic law, marriage – or more specifically, the marriage contract – is called nikah, an Arabic word whose original literal meaning was "sexual intercourse", but which already in the Quran is used exclusively to refer to the contract of marriage. In the Wehr-Cowan Dictionary of Modern Written Arabic, nikah is defined as "marriage; marriage contract; matrimony, wedlock".
In Arabic-speaking countries, marriage is commonly called zawāj, and this term has recently gained currency among Muslim speakers of other languages as well. The marriage contract is known by different names: Literary Arabic: عَقْد ٱلْقرَان ʿaqd al-qirān, " contract"; نکاح نامہ / ALA-LC: Nikāḥ-nāmah; akd; ازدواج ezdevāj "marriage" and سند ازدواج or عقدنامه for the certificate. The marriage celebration may be called ʿurs / zawāj, ezdewaj/arusi, shaadi, biye/biya or düğün.

History

In Arabia before the advent of Islam in the 7th century CE, a variety of different marriage practices existed. The most common and recognized types of marriage at this time consisted of: marriage by agreement, marriage by capture, marriage by mahr, marriage by inheritance and "Mot'a" or temporary marriage. In Mesopotamia, marriages were generally monogamous, except among royalty, who would have harems consisting of wives and concubines. The Sasanian society followed Zoroastrianism, which viewed women to be possessions in marriage, although consent was required in both marriage and divorce.
According to Islamic sources, most women in pre-7th century Arabia had little control over their marriages. They were rarely bound by contract for marriage or custody of children and their consent was rarely sought. Women were seldom allowed to divorce their husbands and their view was not regarded for either a marriage or divorce. However, in the transitional age from non-Islamic to Islamic society, elite women could divorce and remarry without stigma. They were given the power to negotiate the terms of their marriage contract, and could even initiate divorce.

Reforms with Islam

had reformed the laws and procedures of the common marriage practices that existed during his prophethood. The rules of "marriage by agreement " was reformed and a strict set of rules and regulations were put in place. The practices of "marriage by inheritance" was forbidden. Several chapters and verses from the Quran were revealed which banned such practices.
Under the Arabian Jahiliyyah law, Islamic sources allege that no limitations were set on men's rights to marry or to obtain a divorce. Islamic law limited men to four wives at one time, not including concubines. The institution of marriage was refined into one in which the woman was somewhat of an interested partner. 'For example, the dowry, previously regarded as a bride-price paid to the father, became a nuptial gift retained by the wife as part of her personal property' Under Islamic law, marriage was no longer viewed as a "status" but rather as a "contract". The essential elements of the marriage contract were now an offer by the man, an acceptance by the woman, and the performance of such conditions as the payment of dowry. The woman's consent, given either actively or by silence, was required. Furthermore, the offer and acceptance had to be made in the presence of at least two witnesses. A married woman had the right to be given food and clothes by her husband, though her husband had more rights over her: "I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise, unless they commit clear indecency. If they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark. If they obey you, then do not seek means of annoyance against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding, nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses. And their right over you are that you should treat them kindly with regard to their clothing and food."

Conditions

Islamic marriages require acceptance, in قُبُوْل qubūl, of the groom, the bride and the consent of the custodian of the bride. The wali of the bride is normally a male relative of the bride, preferably her father. The wali can only be a free Muslim, unless the bride is of the Christian or Jewish faith; in such cases the bride should be given away by someone from her religious background. The bride is normally present at the signing of the marriage contract.
The Walī mujbir is a technical term of Islamic law which denotes the guardian of a bride. In traditional Islam, the literal definition of "wali", which means "custodian" or "protector", is used. In this context, it is meant that the silence of the bride is considered consent. In most schools of Islamic law, only the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride can be wali mujbir.
If the conditions are met and a mahr and contract are agreed upon, an Islamic marriage ceremony, or wedding, can take place. The marital contract is also often signed by the bride. The consent of the bride is mandatory. The Islamic marriage is then declared publicly, in iʿlān, by a responsible person after delivering a sermon to counsel and guide the couple. It is not required, though customary, that the person marrying the couple should be religiously well-founded in knowledge. The bridegroom can deliver the sermon himself in the presence of representatives of both sides if he is religiously educated, as the story goes about Imam Muhammad bin Ali around 829 AD. It is typically followed by a celebratory reception in line with the couple's or local customs, which could either last a couple of hours or precede the wedding and conclude several days after the ceremony.
The Quran tells believers that even if they are poor they should marry to protect themselves from immorality. The Quran asserts that marriage is a legitimate way to satisfy one's sexual desire. Islam recognizes the value of sex and companionship and advocates marriage as the foundation for families and channeling the fulfillment of a base need. Marriage is highly valued and regarded as being half of one's faith, according to a saying of Muhammad. Whether marriage is obligatory or merely allowed has been explored by several scholars, and agreed that "If a person has the means to marry and has no fear of mistreating his wife or of committing the unlawful if he does marry, then marriage in his case is mustahabb."

Prerequisites

The Quran outlines some conditions for a marriage to take place:
According to Islam, both men and women have rights over each other when they enter into a marriage contract, with the husband serving as protector and supporter of the family most of the time, from his means. This guardianship has two aspects for both partners:
Several commentators have stated that the superiority of a husband over his wife is relative, and the obedience of the wife is also restrictive.
Elaine Stokey writing in Scars Across Humanity: Understanding And Overcoming Violence Against Women, says "both the Quran and Hadiths contain passages which present women as the sexual property of men".
Women are also reminded that in case the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, there is no stigma on them in seeking divorce. The Quran re-emphasizes that justice for the woman includes emotional support, and reminds men that there can be no taking back of the mahr or bridal gifts given to women, unless they are found guilty of sexual immorality. In unfortunate cases where the agreement was to postpone payment of the mahr, some husbands will bully their wives and insist on the return of what he gave her in order to agree to the dissolution of the marriage, this is un-Islamic and cruel. "Where the husband has been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife's property in exchange for her freedom from him. Unfortunately most couples refuse to go to the judge and binding arbitration for these issues even though the Quran says:
"And if you fear a breach between them, then appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will affect it between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware."


Mahr, dowry and gifts

Mahr differs from a marriage dowry or gift, in that it is mandatory for a Muslim marriage and is paid by the groom to the bride. The amount of money or possessions of the mahr is paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage for her exclusive use. The mahr does not have to be money, but it must have monetary value. Therefore, "it cannot be love, honesty, being faithful, etc., which are anyway traits of righteous people." If the marriage contract fails to contain an exact, specified mahr, the husband must still pay the wife a judicially determined sum.
Mahr is mentioned several times in the Quran and Hadith, and there is no maximum limit to the amount the groom may pay as mahr, but at a minimum it is an amount that would be sufficient for the woman to be able to survive independently if her husband dies or they divorce.
With prior mutual agreement, the mahr may also be paid in parts to the bride with an amount given by the groom to the bride at the signing of the marriage contract, also called a mu'qadamm, and the later portion postponed to a date during the marriage, also called a mu'akhaar. Various Romanized transliterations of mu'qadamm and mu'akhaar are accepted. Such an agreement does not make the full amount of the mahr any less legally required, nor is the husband's obligation to fulfill the agreement waived or lessened while he fulfills his obligations to reasonably house, feed, or cloth the wife during the marriage.
Quran "You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably."
Quran "Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers."
Quran "O you who believe, when believing women ask for asylum with you, you shall test them. GOD is fully aware of their belief. Once you establish that they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed to marry them. Give back the dowries that the disbelievers have paid. You commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their due dowries. Do not keep disbelieving wives. You may ask them for the dowry you had paid, and they may ask for what they paid. This is GOD's rule; He rules among you. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise."

Marriage contracts and forced / un-consented marriages

The Marriage contract is concluded between the wali of the bride and the bridegroom and bride.The wali of the bride can only be a free Muslim. The wali of the bride is normally a male relative of the bride, preferably her father. If the bride is a virgin, the wali mujbir, that is her father or paternal grandfather, can not force the bride into the marriage against her proclaimed will; according to most scholars. According to Khomeini and Ali al-Sistani, both Shi'ite scholars, and also almost all contemporary scholars, the marriage is invalid without bride's free consent and no obligation can make marriage official and legal.
The notable example to this is the Hanafi school, which holds that a bride's permission is required if she has reached puberty. They also hold that if a bride was forced into marriage before reaching puberty, then upon attaining puberty she has the option to nullify the marriage if she wishes. A wali other than the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride, then called wali mukhtar, needs the consent of the bride according to the majority of scholars. If the bride is silent about the issue, i.e. her wali expressed his intention to marry her off to a certain man, and she did not object to it; then consent is assumed via her lack of objection.
Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: "A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and it is permission enough for her is to remain silent.".
It is reported in a Hadith that A'ishah related that she asked the Prophet : "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her off, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied: "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said: "But a virgin would be shy, O Messenger of Allaah!" He replied: "Her silence is her permission."

International human rights responses

Children in some Muslim sub-cultures who defy their parents' wishes may in practice, suffer penalties supported by the community. International awareness, campaigns and organizations such as the U.K.'s have recognized the severity of this human rights issue and their rescue and support services extend beyond the borders of U.K. territories. Some countries have instituted prison time for parents who try to coerce their children into such unions.

Divorce

Divorce in Islam can take a variety of forms, some initiated by the husband and some initiated by the wife. The theory and practice of divorce in the Islamic world have varied according to time and place. Historically, the rules of divorce were governed by the Sharia, as interpreted by traditional Islamic jurisprudence, and they differed depending on the legal school. Historical practice sometimes diverged from legal theory. In modern times, as personal status laws were codified, they generally remained "within the orbit of Islamic law", but control over the norms of divorce shifted from traditional jurists to the state.

Prohibited marriages

In certain sections of the Jahiliyyah Arab tradition, the son could inherit his deceased father's other wives as a wife. The Quran prohibited this practice. Marriage between people related in some way is subject to prohibitions based on three kinds of relationship. The following prohibitions are given from the male perspective for brevity; the analogous counterparts apply from the female perspective; e.g., for "aunt" read "uncle". The Quran states:

Prohibitions based on consanguinity

Seven relations are prohibited because of consanguinity, i.e. kinship or relationship by blood, viz. mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal aunts, maternal aunts and nieces. In this case, no distinction is made between full and half relations, both being equally prohibited. Distinction is however made with step relations i.e. where both the biological mother and father of a couple wishing to marry are separate individuals for both parties, in which case it is permitted. The word "mother" also connotes the "father's mother" and "mother's mother" all the way up. Likewise the word "daughter" also includes the "son's daughter" and "daughter's daughter" all the way down. The sister of the maternal grandfather and of the paternal grandmother are also included on equal basis in the application of the directive.

Prohibitions based on suckling

Marriage to what are sometimes described as foster relations in English are not permitted, although the concept of "fosterage" is not the same as is implied by the English word. The relationship is that formed by suckling from the breast of a wet nurse. This is what is meant by "fosterage" in Islam in the quotation below. In Islam, the infant is regarded as having the same degree of affinity to the wet nurse as in consanguinity, so when the child grows up marriage is prohibited to those related to the wet nurse by the same degree as if to the child's own mother.
A hadith confirm that fosterage does not happen by a chance suckling, it refers to the first two years of a child's life before it is weaned. Islahi writes that "this relationship is established only with the full intent of those involved. It only comes into being after it is planned and is well thought of".

Prohibitions based on marriage

The daughter-in-law is prohibited for the father, and the mother-in-law, the wife's daughter, the wife's sister and daughters of the wife's siblings, the maternal and paternal aunts of the wife are all prohibited for the husband. However, these are conditional prohibitions:
  1. Only the daughter of that wife is prohibited with whom one has had conjugal contact.
  2. Only the daughter-in-law of a real son is prohibited.
  3. The sister of a wife, her maternal and paternal aunts and her brother's or sister's daughters are only prohibited if the wife is in wedlock with the husband.

    Prohibition based on religion

The Quran states:
According to the Sharia, Muslims are allowed to practice polygyny. According to the Quran, a man may have up to four legal wives only if there is a fear of being unjust to non-married orphan girls. Even then, the husband is required to treat all wives equally. If a man fears that he will not be able to meet these conditions then he is not allowed more than one wife.
A bride-to-be may include terms in her marriage contract that require monogamy for her husband or require her consent before he marries another wife. Polyandry is forbidden. A woman cannot have more than one husband at a time.

Sororal polygyny

Sororal polygyny is forbidden. A man cannot marry:
A woman cannot marry after divorce or death of her husband for a certain period. This period is known as iddah.
In today's world, Muslims practice Islamic marital laws in a multitude of ways all over the globe. In the United States, for example, 95% of Muslim American couples included in a 2012 study by the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding had completed both the Nikkah and had obtained a civil marriage license, which is required to have a marriage legally recognized in the United States. The study also shares that “In some cases, the Islamic marriage contract is completed once the couple has decided to get married, but cohabitation occurs later after the wedding reception. In other cases, the Islamic marriage contract is completed simultaneously with the civil marriage and is followed immediately by the wedding reception.”
There is ongoing debate about whether or not Sharia should be recognized in western countries like the United States and Australia that would allow for the Nikkah to be recognized as a legally valid marriage. There are also other elements to the Islamic marriage rituals that have difficulty being acknowledged in courts, according to the study, including the Mahr, or the dowry. Women who are denied their dowry do not have a clear path to legal contestation in either the US or Canada.
Studies have also shown that even young Muslim Americans who might describe themselves as "not very religious embrace the rituals of their faith at important moments of transition – birth, death and marriage. These occasions motivate reaffirmation of emotional and behavioral touchstones, even for those who do not practice their faith by attending mosque, praying or fasting regularly."
When it comes to divorce, the 2014 study conducted by the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding states that, "Two divorce rates commonly cited for American Muslims include 32.33% and 21.3%, respectively." Within the United States and Canada, many Muslim couples interviewed in the study mention that they value a religious divorce and its proceedings. Some turn to religious figures to help them navigate the divorce process, while many still go through the courts to terminate the civil marriage. Divorced Muslim women today also face the stigmas associated with being divorced within the North American Muslim community that can make it difficult for them seek remarriage.
Gender roles and ideas about marriage have also shifted since the early onset of Islam when many of the rules around marriage were established. ISPU reports that "the most frequent source of marital conflict in this study was conflict over changing gender roles and expectations," citing a nation-wide increase in women in higher education and professional jobs over the past three decades, and, “In many cases are trying to integrate childrearing and family life with professional goals”.
In March 2017, Salamet Memetimin, an ethnic Uyghur and the communist party secretary for Chaka township’s Bekchan village in Qira County, Hotan Prefecture, Xinjiang, China, was relieved of her duties for taking her nikah marriage vows at her home.